Kim Yo-jong (sister of North Korea's leader) talks with Moon Jae-in (South Korea's leader)

In a recent Olympic meeting, Kim Yo-jong and Moon Jae-in discuss North-South relations:

Moon: What I am saying is, you're not nearly so fat as your brother.

Kim: There is a reason for that fat.

Moon: Do explain.

Kim: As our beloved, great leader, my brother requires a certain, je ne sais quoi . . . heaviness.

Moon: Gravity?

Kim: Exactly. Gravity. Indeed, his job demands morbid obesity, the eventual sacrifice of his divine body for unification. It is a very grave requirement. Only a man of his enormous girth can be attractive enough to unify southern Korea with our northern system. You are aware of the inverse-square law?

Moon: Yes, that law partly explains my erratic behavior . . .